Whoa... slow down there pal!

It's another slow day here at the office, so that means that I've been regularly checking in. I've also had time to decide that Marcia is onto something when she posts her random animal fact sheets!

And so here it is, Lizzle's first attempt at an animal fact sheet! Since Marcia most recently tackled the cuddliest of the arctic birds, I'm going to take on another cold-dwelling creature.

YOUR FRIEND: THE POLAR BEAR!

• Contrary to popular belief, polar bears are not white. The bear itself is actually black, but is covered with thick white fur.
• The thick white fur helps the bears to disguise themselves in the frozen wastelands that they call home... But the drycleaning bills are murder!
• Polar bears don't have problems with staying warm. In fact, they are more like an old Datsun because they are more likely to overheat than get too cold.
  
• A myth maintains that polar bears use tools, including blocks of ice to kill their prey. A famous scientist, who got his jollies watching polar bears, believes that this assertion can be traced to unsuccessful hunts. After failing to catch a seal, a frustrated and angry polar bear may (act like your dad, or a small child and) kick the snow, slap the ground — or hurl chunks of ice.
• Another misconception is that polar bears live at both poles. The belief is common among school children, who grow up seeing illustrations of penguins and polar bears together. Polar bears, of course, hate penguins, and their incessant squawking, and the fact that the stupid penguins were always making out and puking fish all over each other, and so the bears packed up all their Coca-Cola products into several U-Haul trucks, and moved away. They never encounter penguins which, since the move, do not live in the same regions as polar bears.

And there you have it, a quick and handy reference sheet about polar bears! Don't say I've never done anything for you!