Ok, so my last post was to tell you all that I was coming home... And on my way I met some interesting characters.
On the plane, I sat in the same row with two hot, drunk bitches!
They referred to themselves by their "celebrity names" which were Drew and Janet... They told me since I was sporting the new pearls that I got for Christmas that I would be Gwyneth. They proceeded to buy me a cocktail on the flight, which I was totally ok with.
And as a trio, we collectively harassed the people in front of us, who we referred to as "Mom and Dad."
We would tap them on the head, or hit the back of their seats, and say obnoxious things like, "Dad, are we there yet?" or "Mom, she's touching me!"
And any time we got worried that they'd get pissed about us harassing them, I just said, "well I think we are ok harassing them all we want, because you know since they're on a plane, you can be sure that they aren't armed!"
It was an amusing time.
So we exchanged numbers, and I've since talked to both of them.
As soon as we landed, and I turned my phone back on, I got a message from Mel.
Mel was leaving for home on the 30th/31st and wanted me to come out for her going away party. So I dropped my stuff off at home, and went out to Bruno's for drinks with my Meljoy, and we had a good time despite the sad occasion. (Pictures of that to be posted later.)
I got home around 4 AM after closing down Bruno's and having breakfast with Mel, Pat, and Marty.
Mel snoozed for a few hours at my place and then left for home at about 7 AM. (P.S. - Mel, the note you left was the sweetest thing EVER!)
So after sleeping in on the 31st, I had to get ready to go bartend down at the Drake hotel. So I got ready, met up with Anthony, and we both headed downtown...
The Drake had something else in mind.
After getting ready, getting all our shit together, and spending like an hour and a half being shuffled around, the Drake assigned Anthony to the WORST possible bar... And they hadn't assigned me to a bar at all.
For some strange reason, my name "wasn't on the list" ... Despite the fact that I talked to like 3 different people and confirmed with them all. (And there were like 5 other people who had the exact same problem.) And the first guy who I talked to, who's name I remembered, when asked if he confirmed me, said "No, I didn't confirm anybody!" which was total bullshit. So they gave us the option of sitting down in some little room, and being on standby in case they had to get rid of any other bartenders... I had no intention of ringing in the new year sitting in the kitchen at the Drake while all my friends were partying it up. So I staged a bartending coup! I said "You know what, THIS IS BULLSHIT! LET'S GO!" And I took 3 of the other STAND-BY bartenders with me, and I tracked down Anthony, and let him know what was up, and he walked out too.
So if they needed to give any other bartenders the boot, they were pretty much fucked. It was beautiful in it's own little way.
So instead of working like I'd planned, Anthony and I got some people together and we rang in the new year at his apartment, and then we went out at 1AM because we didn't want to mess with all that $100 package bullshit. We closed down Berlin, where I got a makeout from a guy who was trying to surgically remove my tonsils with his tongue, and Nada, Tihi, and Anthony all got their fair share of lovin' too.
We did breakfast at Clark's with Anthony's Uncle Joey, and his cousin Maxine, and I got home at about 7AM... And I didn't go to bed until about 9 AM... So January 1 was spent entirely in bed.
Here it is January 2, and I am at the coffee shop, right where I belong, bringing you kids up to speed.
I know this post lacked the usual sparkle of acerbic humor, but there was too much to cover to get it all in a reasonable-sized post if all the jokes were included... I'll just save it for the book version.
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