Live and learn...

Ok, so I spent my day today trying very hard to be a good little worker bee, and work hard at all the things that were mentioned in my review, so that it would seem that I had taken something to heart...

The conclusion?

THEY ARE TRYING TO TURN ME INTO ONE OF THOSE POD PEOPLE!

You know, the worker pods!

And you know what?

My momma didn't raise a worker pod... My momma raised a loud, obnoxious, hilarious, giggle pod.

That's right, I'm a giggle pod.

And giggle pods are not cut out to be the face and e-mailing, word processing, spreadsheeting, copying, faxing authority of a well respected urban real estate office. They just aren't. It's not natural.

This does not mean I am quitting or even looking for something else... I'm not. The money and the security of my position is too good to walk away from. So what does it mean? It means that I am very actively pursuing getting into a grad program as soon as possible so that I can do my own thing and be a giggle pod, giggling while someone else does the phoning, faxing, e-mailing, and copying stuff... and you know what? I'll be nice to my admin. EVEN IF SHE GETS "SNIPPY" WHEN SHE'S BUSY. And by the way, Idle, you are SO right... --A. Evaluations are total bullshit time when the boss gets to be a pot calling the kettle black, and the poor little kettle can't say anything, because the kettle is too shiny, and new, and reliant on the paycheck provided by the pot... and B. "snippy" is the pussiest word ever in a situation like that. I would much rather have the blunt honesty of someone telling me I am an outright bitch when someone adds more crap to the shitstorm descending on me... Saying "snippy" makes me feel like I am only half-assing my efforts to offend people who make my life slightly more stressful and slightly less enjoyable. And we all know that I don't care about offending anyone, so half-assing my bitchiness is something that just can't be done!

So off to grad school I go... Now I've just got to find a program around here that'll take my sorry ass!

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And now for some LOOOOONG overdue QOTDs!

Erin: "God could pick me to be the mother of Jesus."
Liz: "Last time he picked a virgin... I don't think you're qualified."
Erin: "And what? You think YOU'RE qualified? ...Oh yeah, god should totally pick you to be the mother of the new Jesus."
Liz: "Well, if god had me in mind, he clearly didn't think that plan through! He might want to reconsider before shouldering me with the new messiah."
Erin: "Who calls him 'the messiah?'"
Liz: "Well, I do... And we all know that my baby would have to do battle with Xenu Cruise to determine the fate of the universe... While my kid would be properly prepared for a real battle royale, I don't think god would give me the motherly-influence over something as important as the messiah... I think god would be smarter than that!"
Erin: "Umm, I don't know about that... God is funny that way."

"Look at this thing! It's smaller than a baby's prick! [pause] Oh, hell, that's going to be a quote of the day isn't it! Don't post that! It's going to make me sound like a pedophile!" ~Anon.

At the office:
Co-worker 1: "Hey, [Co-worker 2] what's Steve's phone number?"
Co-worker 2: "Umm... hang on, let me look... Oh here it is... it's 666-666-6666"
Co-worker 1: "Oh, I forgot he had the franchise on that number!"

Male co-worker: "What's that book about?"
Liz: "Memoirs of a geisha? You know what a Geisha is?"
Male co-worker: "Well, yeah."
Liz: "Well then the best I can tell you is that the title is accurate."
Male co-worker: "Well ok, then. Is it any good?"
Liz: "It's one of my favorite books... I've read it several times."
Male co-worker: "Well, then I'll have to read it sometime."
Liz: "I don't know too many straight men who get into it... but it is very well written."
Male co-worker: "Hey, I am man enough to be ok with reading a chick book!"

Background: While sitting at a game, we saw some cute kids...
Liz: "Damn those are cute kids... I used to be cute, now look at me."
C: "AWWWWW"
Liz: "You know what I want to know? When did I stop using both hands when drinking out of a cup, because that is awesome."
The cute kids' mom: "As soon as you started caring what other people thought."
Liz: "Well that can't be right... I've NEVER cared what other people thought of me... I STILL don't care."
C: "It's true... She REALLY doesn't."