For ten straight evenings I've had my ass planted on the couch and my eyes glued to a perfect flat Trinitron. Not often does television make my heart race or my stomach churn, but as of late I feel cheated if I end a day having not paced in front of the television, screaming and pulling my hair out. The Olympics have taken over my life and I need help.

With that said I'd like to define the term "Diva" which has been used to describe one Svetlana Khorkina. Dave's definition is as follows

di-va n.
1.A bitch who, if not at the top of her game at present, was at one point extremely talented in one way or another.
2.An opera singer or something.

It should also be noted that a diva's area of expertise is always insignificant and useless. Yes i realize that music, the most common talent of the modern diva, is very important on a spiritual, cultural and individual level, but it must be noted that very little of the worlds most significant music was spawned of a modern diva. In fact I'd say none. Besides music is not the lone art. In short I'll bet my left nut that the woman who cures cancer(an accomplishment of true importance) will NOT be remembered as a diva. Got it?

Svetlana's performances on the vault, floor and beam were disappointing at best. I just wasn't impressed. She didn't sell any of her routines and lost major points for her lack of amplitude. Maybe I'm alone, but I think she was lucky to get silver. I did, however, shed an invisible tear for her, knowing that she would never have the individual gold. That tear soon found itself left behind and alone. My jaw dropped when "the diva" had the nerve to claim she was "robbed" of a gold medal because she's not American. I didn't mute the television when she stole the camera's from the true champion during a media conference after the event and I even smiled when she dramatically wrapped the Russian flag around herself before leaving it on the uneven bars. But to blame her second place finish on anything other than a lack luster performance is just too much. I hate her.

.....This was going to be a much better rant, but I was distracted men's high bar...... wow. I'll expand on my hatred of Svetlana later.