Here goes nothing...

Thursday night was round two of my liver abuse... and to be honest I don't think I was even 100% FULLY SOBER until about 9 PM on Friday... which was roughly when I decided I was too exhausted to seriously take anyone up on the offers for round three... So yeah, I gave my liver a Friday night off... in preparation for tonight... But tonight's events will no doubt be recounted at a later time, so we'll just let that sleeping dog lie.

As for the previously promised details of Thursday, I'll give you the quick and dirty details... I have to do my best to protect the innocent here.

So we went to Cullen's, had a couple rounds, went elsewhere when we realized that we knew the guy who was playing the live music sets that night... he walked in and we instantly knew it was time to leave.

So we walked to Neybour's, where we ran into someone else we knew, I sat and talked baseball with a fabulous boy who was taken (unfortunate for me, but fabulous for the lucky girl!) And after three or four rounds there, we elected to move on.

And then we went to Messner's. At this point I was drunk enough to volunteer to buy two rounds of Jager bombs, even though I HATE JAGER... How does this happen? I don't know either. And we met a boy who I would totally make out with... but I didn't. (Damn, I'm not doing so well...) This fabulous boy stole two little pumpkins for me, and I definitely D-Bo-ed (Pronounced: DEE-BO-ED; meaning stole.) two for myself... this means I have 4 pumpkins that didn't belong to me at the start of the night, but definitely all came home with me when all was said and done. I think I left my credit card at Messner's... it was either there, or at Nick's which is where we headed at last call.

On the way to Nick's, (with my four pumpkins in tow) I definitely stumbled on uneven pavement, and since alcohol was in the driver's seat of my bodily equillibrium, I definitely took a header onto the sidewalk. I did a little damage to my left hand, (as well as my ego,) but I was definitely laughing as I lay there, face-down, on the sidewalk... (the other members of my party were also laughing heartily at my expense.) So we got to Nick's and since Nick's is ALWAYS a "sausage-fest" we sat and talked to many guys... harrassed them as they shot some pool, got a couple of free rounds from the ones who didn't mind our very drunken mumblings... you know how it goes. I got hit on by one of the bouncers, who called me "Thick & Beautiful" ...Now this is all well and good to some people, however, being a white girl, I REALLY REALLY REALLY HATE this. However, by this time I'd consumed enough alcohol that I was too drunk to give him a fake phone number when he asked if he could call me. And he has since called me twice... DAMMIT. (And we all know how bad I suck at telling people to stop calling me because I'm not interested.)

But after last call at Nick's it was time to skedaddle on back home... and since I was VERY VERY intoxicated, I didn't mind walking alone from the el stop to my apartment... until I was very nearly forced to throw down on a random guy. Why? Because as I'm walking across a parking lot on my way home, this guy comes up behind me and grabs my ass. Those of you who know me, know that in general I'm generally a pacifist... I am however VIOLENTLY protective of my virtues, (Especially in empty parking lots at roughly 3:30 in the morning) So naturally I smacked his hand away and asked him who the hell he thought he was and what the fuck he thought he was doing. He replied with "Well, I just saw that sweet ass and thought I'd try to get to know you." So I of course replied back with "Well you don't know me, and you're not going to get to know me, so get the fuck away from me before I start screaming RAPE, you Kobe-Bryant-without-the-good-looks-or-the-paycheck-motherfucker." It was roughly this point that I decided it would be a good idea to start running and to cross the street. He followed me... So of course I said "I'm crossing the street again, and if you come within twenty yards of me, I will kick you in the nuts, scream rape, and call the cops" ...He didn't follow me anymore. (I know that publicly recounting this whole story will have people very upset that I would put myself in that position, (little girl in a big city, etc,) but I made it home safely, with my virtues intact... so while I appreciate your concern, but please don't make me feel bad for any of this.) The only reason I mention any of this is because I know a few of you out there will totally appreciate that I had the presence of mind to use a sports figure in the insults that I dealt to my would-be molester, and I did safely fend him off, so for the love of Pete, just cut me some slack.

I came home, took my cursory drunken shower, talked to Jen for a while before she headed off to work, and then slept until roughly 1 PM when I woke up only to realize I'd slept through my classes and needed to get to work, and I needed to get my hand cleaned up and properly cared for.

As they say, THAT'S ALL FOLKS.