Random Thoughts

1) Common sense dictates that a show titled Wife Swap would be shot in the bedroom. Once again I’m disappointed by today’s programming.

2) Outsourcing... Cutting costs to increase profit is the nature of industry. Don't blame the companies. Blame the silicon valley flunkies who won't work for anything less than 6 figures. Bush wants to throw Pell Grants at the problem. Idiot. An old man with a thick Indian accent and a Windows for Dummies book will always win over an M.I.T. grad aiming to retire at 30.

3) If I can convince my roommate to vote Bush/Cheney, cancelling out my own vote, I'll be able to sleep in come November 2nd.

4)Light beer makes me pee a lot. I will have none of it. I'm not even on a diet.

5)Depression... Bull Shit. If you've got a porsche in the driveway, a trophy wife/husband, a few million in the bank, a yacht and you still wake up crying... fine here's some Prozac. If you live from paycheck to paycheck, drive an '84 chevy chevette, and can't get a date... Your life sucks. There's nothing clinically wrong with you.

6) People ask this question all the time: Why the hell are drive through ATMs equipped with braille? This is mine: Why braille on any ATM? They can't read the buttons, but the tiny low contrast two tone LCD is no problem? Do blind people know there's a $2 fee every time they withdraw from an ATM? Poor bastards.

7) I'm tired of all my black friends thinking they're obligated to vote democrat. Though I may lean more to the left than right I'd be the first to admit that the Ds are more racist than the Republicans. The democratic party has made it very clear that they don't believe an African American can stand up on his or her own two feet. The republicans, on the other hand, tell the blacks the same thing they tell whites. Fuck Off.

8) O'Reilly won't stop calling me, asking me what I'm wearing.

9) If you see one movie this month make it Shawn of the Dead.

10) I accidentally washed my wallet a couple days ago. Left it in my pants, threw the pants in the washing machine. My roommate asked me why I did it. I punched him in the throat.