Jake asked me if I was an English major when he discovered the blog... Well, no, I'm not an english major, but I do know how to write kids, and from what I've heard from others, I apparenly write pretty well.

While catching up on my reading of Jason's blog (see links column) I had to note that this guy, who was a history major is also quite an astonishing writer, (Significantly funnier than me, I have no problem admitting). But anyway, Jason posted what I can only say is the most horrifically hilarious sentence I've ever read. (I have brought over acouple paragraphs to put things into a little bit of context for you, and I've put the sentence in question in bold italics, but if you want more, try going to Jason's blog)

"I don't know what theatrical pairing I'm more excited about: Queen Latifah joining forces with Jimmy Fallon, or George Costanza finally (finally!) pairing up with Theo Huxtable to create the greatest television the world will ever see until, at the earliest, the 23rd century.

First, The Queen and Fallon. I know you've seen the previews: a buddy comedy featuring Fallon as a bumbling cop and the saucy Queen ("We gotta start playin' to your strengths, and thinking ain't one of 'em") as a cabbie who helps him track down a gang of bandits led by (are you ready for this? I don't think you are!) the model Gisele Bundchen! Como se dice, "Oscar"? Also, como se dice, "I would rather eat my brother's shit using as chopsticks two hypodermic needles filled with retard than pay $10 to sit through two hours of this crap"?"

Yeah, he used the phrase "hypodermic needles filled with retard" ... And these are the kinds of people who's material I continue to read? I mean I thought I was hellbound... WOW! (Well, scratch that, I KNOW I'm hellbound, now it's just a matter of logistics... we're just trying to narrow down which circle of hell I'll be residing in so I know where to have my mail forwarded) I gotta stop reading this stuff... I mean it's addictive like heroin, but I am feeling the warmth of the eternal fires of hell here... Oh, wait, the heat is on in the apartment, woops! Ok, so I guess I can keep reading! Happy trails kids!