Beaten to the punch...

In the most supreme of all unbelievable twists of fate I have been beaten to the punch.

Here's the story.

I was actually on my way to work (on what should have been a day off) to do "publicity" for the salon... I was literally standing on the el platform, waiting for a train to go to the salon, and I got a phone call.

It was my boss.

She started off by telling me not to worry about coming in to work tomorrow, I didn't find anything odd about that statement because the managers have been conducting interviews, so I just figured that they had found someone to pick up the weekend shifs that I had been covering since we recently lost one of the other workers.

And then I got a kick in the teeth.

I was informed that I was, in fact, FIRED.

Yep. I was fired from that piece of shit job. (Apparently those interviews they had been conducting were to replace me.)

Why was I fired? Because I had a bad attitude.

ME??? A BAD ATTITUDE??? NO WAY!

I'm not kidding. I was fired from working a VERY-slightly-better than minimum wage job because I had a bad attitude.

That's a fucking riot as far as I'm concerned!

So I asked my boss, "Well, I have never thought myself to be anything but professional while at work, so can I please have some example of my own bad attitude?"

Nothing really seemed to come to mind at the time for the boss... She just said that she had talked to the assistant manager, and that I didn't meet their standards, and they had made the decision and that my attitude and I were no longer needed.

I DON'T MEET YOUR STANDARDS?

Let's see, I have a college degree, I work the shifts that nobody else wants because they suck ass (even worse than all the other ass-sucking shifts... because NO SHIFT is good there.) I sell your products better than 3 out of the other 4 people you employ, I am THE ONLY one who actually cleans that place, I have never had to submit a end of shift report that was short any money (which means I wasn't stealing), and nobody has lodged a complaint against me saying that I was rude or incompetent... AND I DON'T MEET YOUR MOTHER FUCKING STANDARDS?

Yeah, that makes sense!

Oh wait... NOPE... Not so much.

(Yeah, NOW I HAVE A BAD ATTITUDE! ...And if I had a bad attitude while I worked there, it was probably only because they weren't paying me enough to have a good attitude.)

So, MERRY MOTHER FUCKING CHRISTMAS!

Now, if you'll excuse me, my bad attitude and I have some heavy drinking to do!

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On the up-side, I had a better day than Richard Pryor, who died today.

God, I'm an asshole.