Laundry day!

Today is my day off, and it's also laundry day!

(No laundry day isn't typically a happy day for me, but today it is, and I'll tell you why!)

Today I decided that I wanted to spend part of my day off at the coffee shop that I frequent, and since it's laundry day, I am totally out of respectable clothing... All of my jeans are dirty, my favorite sweatshirts have crap spilled all over the front of them (because as we know, I'm a total klutz like that). And I am totally and completely out of socks. (That's how I know I can't put laundry day off any longer!)

So, knowing all of my respectable pants were gross, and bordering on walking around on their own; I delved into the closet... Into that stash of clothing that every woman has... The clothes that don't fit anymore, but you keep them in the feeble hopes that one day you'll really stick with the diet and exercise and you'll be able to wear those blessed clothes that you spent so much on in skinnier times...

Well, knowing that I have not stuck with any kind of real diet or exercise of late, I was quite pessimistic as I gazed at that stash... but then I looked longingly at the fabulous pair of jeans that I so loved in my skinnier days... The ones that had originally cost an obscene amount of money, but I happened to acquire quite reasonably because I am an expert shopper (It's totally a genetic thing!!!) and it was just a lucky event that they happened to have a pair in what was my size at the time.

Not even knowing why, I slid them off the shelf... perhaps just to get a better look at them as I was intensely gazing at them.

And I grumbled as I slid my legs into them... "::Grumble, grumble:: ...There's no chance in hell... ::Grumble, grumble:: ... I'll try pulling them up, and they won't be anywhere NEAR fitting, and I'll want to kill myself..."

And then a miracle occurred! I put them on, and zipped them with ease!

THEY FIT!!!!

By some stroke of magical, mysterious luck, THEY BLOODY FIT!

Of course, I stood wide-eyed with amazement as I looked down at them... Zipped and buttoned... While on my body!

I probably looked something like those scary wide-eyed pictures you see of Liza Minelli, though I couldn't tell you for sure, because when I walked over to the mirror, I was not looking at my face... I was looking at my ass! MY ASS IN MY SKINNY JEANS!

In my disbelief, as I piroetted before my mirror, I audibly said (despite the fact that I was alone in my apartment,) "THERE IS JUST NO FUCKING WAY!"

Apparently there was a way!

======================================================

That's my story... take it or leave it... But you sure as hell better not rain on my parade! (And YES, I am having a parade to celebrate the fact that I wore the skinny jeans again!)