The polar nature of life also applies to those characters we so loved as children. When we were young and naive, we could only see the good in them, but with the more worldly eyes of adults, we can now see that there is a more sinister side to these public figures. This is the true Hollywood story of "The Hamburglar."
conceived as the "love child" of Ron Jeremy, and one of his many sexual conquests, Hamburglar had an unhappy childhood. He grew up the butt of constant jokes about his resemblance to his father, (though it should be noted that Hamburglar did not inherit his father's "endowment").
Using his father's Hollywood connections, Hamburglar quickly rose to child-icon status... But the glory days of stealing hamburgers from grimace and the fry-kids didn't last.
Hamburglar quickly gave in to the pressures of the Hollywood lifestyle, and took to the bottle.
Not knowing just how out of control the alcohol, and later many hard drugs, would make him, Hamburglar took to boosting cars, and kidnapping small children and selling them into slavery to support his habit.
This life of crime eventually caught up with the Hamburglar, and he took to cross-dressing to evade capture by authorities.
But the Feds weren't fooled for long.
One sad day, after several years of life on the lam, the Hamburglar was sold-out by his long-time wingman, and partner in crime, Ronald McDonald.
Infuriated by this betrayal, Hamburglar gunned down Ronald at a public function, and was quickly apprehended by federal agents.
Hamburglar is currently serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole at San Quentin penitentiary in California.
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