So here I sit at the salon, working a wretched 9 hour shift. (I've been here 2 hours and not had a single client... Talk about time dragging) And at the moment the scissors are looking really tempting, because if they aren't sharp enough to slit my wrists, I could always repeatedly jab them into my chest... (but it would be such a shame to ruin such exquisite breasts.)
If I didn't think they'd just haul my lifeless body on top of the heap-o-trash out back, mop up the bloody mess, and carry on with business as usual, I might actually consider doing it.
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I was kind of bored last night, so I started going over old posts... The result, I realized that the writing here has really fallen off lately in terms of quality. I ran across posts that I didn't remember writing, though I obviously did, and I was literally laughing out loud while alone in my apartment. The QOTDs alone are worth going back to view! I realize that a lot of this has to do with the fact that I am no longer in contact with some of the funniest bitches I know. (Note to self: must re-establish contact, if only for the sake of QOTD!)
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I would keep a running journal of events while I'm here at work, but I'm afraid that it would either put you, my loyal reader, to sleep, or cause you to call some mental health professionals because you'd see just how often I stare longingly at those scissors...
To be honest, I think I'd have already gone bonkers if it weren't for the blessed, though belated, return of my computer... My internet connection/addiction, and my itunes are the only things that have kept me from totally losing it in the last week... Well, that and the use of legal substances.
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Kirsten (aka - The Admiral.) sent me one of those cheesy e-mails where you answer a bunch of questions about yourself and send it off to all your friends... usually I don't participate in those things, but since I am extremely bored at the moment, I gave it a whirl. Here's what I had to say: (If you get bored enough, copy and paste the body of this into an e-mail and shoot it my way... my e-mail is in the sidebar there.)
1. What is your occupation? Private event bartender, and bitch for the tanning industry.
2. What color is your underwear? Pink plaid.
3. What are you listening to right now? Switchfoot. (ITunes is on shuffle.)
4. What was the last thing you ate? Uh... A cough drop. If that doesn't count, then I had chicken noodle soup.
5. Do you wish on stars? Every chance I get.
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Cerulean blue.
7. How's the weather right now? 60 and overcast... not bad for Chicago in November
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Kevin.
9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Quite a lot, actually.
10. How old are you today? 23.
11. Favorite drink? non-alcoholic - Water. Alcoholic - Vodka cranberry.
12. Favorite sport to watch? Baseball.
13. Have you ever dyed your hair? yes... I don't remember what my natural color really looks like
14. Do you wear contacts or glasses? no
15. Pets? My fish, Murphy... (He's the only one that lives with me at the moment.)
16. Favorite month? June.
17. Favorite food? Cheese.
18. What was the last movie you watched? Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
19. Favorite day of the year? August 18th, my mom's birthday (Because she never lets us do anything special any other times, but it's cool to celebrate momma for a day!)
20. What do you do to vent anger? Rant EXTENSIVELY, repeatedly, and then I write about it.
21. What was your favorite toy as a child? a refrigerator box that we used to roll down hills in.
22. Fall or Spring? Spring. (Fall has my birthday, but spring has SPRING TRAINING!)
23. Hugs or kisses? I hug everybody, but I love a good kiss! (Kisses win.)
24. Cherry or Blueberry? Cherry, BITCHES!
25. Do you want your friends to email you back? Eh, why not. It'll kill a few minutes at the salon.
26. Who is most likely to respond? Dunno, don't really care.
27. Who is least likely to respond? See above.
29. When was the last time you cried? My Grandma's funeral... RIP Gran!
30. What is on the floor of your closet? My shoe rack, my ironing board, and a box of papers.
31. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Umm, my brother. We weren't friends there for a while, but we're cool again, so he's got a 23 year span.
32. What did you do last night? Washed dishes, took out the trash, changed Murphy's water, read old blog entries.
33. Favorite smell? Men's cologne, (on my clothes!)
34. What inspires you? Lots of things... really depends on my mood.
35. What are you afraid of? Rejection... and dying alone.
36. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Uhh, I don't eat hamburgers, but if you make it a turkey burger, I'll take it cheesy!
37. Favorite car? Tie, Jeep Wrangler & New or Classic Ford mustang.
38. Favorite dog breed? Boxer or Siberian Husky.
39. Number of keys on your key ring? 4.
40. How many states have you lived in? 3. Kentucky, Indiana, and Illinois. I'm continually moving up!
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QOTD:
I was talking with someone about smoking on the el platform (which is technically illegal) and these gems came up, but to protect the individuals identities, I will leave them as anonymous:
"Yeah, I was smoking on the el platform the other day, and some lady comes up to me and says, 'you know those things'll kill you, right?' and I looked at her, and looked amazed at my cigarette, and said 'REALLY?? GREAT!!! Now, how about you leave me alone so I can hurry up and die!'" ~Anon.
"Yeah, I really hate it when I'm standing on the platform, really enjoying a good smoke, and all of a sudden I hear the 'VOICE OF GOD' over the CTA speakers sqwaking at me to put it out because there's no smoking on CTA property. Damn cameras... Damn CTA VOICE OF GOD!" ~Anon.
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