I've got issues...

Ok, so I almost didn't post at all today... ALMOST.

Instead, I just got to it REALLY late. So it's likely that a lot of you won't even be seeing this until Thursday. That's fine, and quite frankly, my fault, but be sure to check back and refresh a couple times on Thursday, because I will be back at work and bored to the point of multiple entries again.

"But, Lizzle the Fabulous, why did you post so late on Thursday?" you ask.

I'll tell you. I slept obscenely late today. And by OBSCENELY, I mean REALLY RIDICULOUSLY LATE! (We're talking REALLY late here.) Why did I do such a thing? Because it's my day off, and I like sleep... and also because I didn't go to bed until 3 and I was dumb enough to think I still needed a sleeping pill to facilitate some Z's... and it most likely was necessary, though it gave me even more Z's than were really necessary. My apologies.

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In other news, I am taking the Happy Hour Tunes down... There has been no real interest in the page, so I'll hang up my DJ hat for a while.

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The title of the post indicates that I have issues. Yeah, it's true.

Now, I don't have plans to write out all my issues here in some feeble hope to work them all out with you, my DELIGHTFUL, WONDERFUL, SUPER, SUPERIOR, SUPERLATIVE, GLORIOUS, STUPENDOUS readers... I mean, I trouble you all with enough of my personal messes, lord knows you've been more than kind in tolerating that crap in the past, and I hope that continues for a good long time... Anyway... Let's just quickly touch on something that I feel is a bit of an issue.

The buddy list.

Lizzle the Fabulous has maxed out the ol' buddy list a few times, and has had to do some "house cleaning" in the past... Basically I've had to delete the names of people who I rarely, if ever, talked to.

You wouldn't think that would be such a loss, would you? But it is. Why? Because my buddy list is kind of like my own personal "Days of Our Lives." I don't watch soap operas, aside from the fact that I don't really watch TV at all, and the fact that they air during the day when I've never been able to be home to watch, I've never felt a need to even see what they are about. Why? Because I have my own personal soap-opera docked on the right-hand side of my computer screen! And it's being acted out by people I actually frickin' know!!!

Right now, I'm going to go ahead and admit to all of you that I suffer from CAMC. Yes. My name is Liz, and I am a Compulsive Away-Message Checker. (But I have my reasons!)

You'd be amazed at just how much information you can glean from other people's AIM profiles and away messages. You know who is dating who, who just broke someone else's heart, who just got their heart broken, where people are going, where they have been, and other assorted clues into their twisted psyches. It's actually quite interesting.

Of course you also get the cursory amusing away messages, and you know who always posts the funny away messages versus the ever-so-irritating "I'm currently away from my computer"

My own personal messes aside, I noted the away message of someone on my buddy list this evening, and it prompted me to nearly regurgitate the $4 cup of coffee I'd just imbibed.

You're just so curious aren't you... You're dying to know what it said! (I can tell you're just on pins and needles, waiting with baited breath.)

Ok, I'll tell you, but first a little background. Picture it... Sicily, 1926... (Golden Girls joke for those of you who didn't catch it.) Anyway, think of the most disgusting person you know. And I don't just mean physically disgusting, I'm talking physically disgusting coupled with the most awkwardly abrasive personality you can fathom... Yeah it's that bad. So this digusting person, who shall remain nameless for the time being, has the following away message up:

"C'mon! How many chances in your life do you get to sleep with someone like me?!"

Please allow me to be the first to say, GUH-ROSS! (Add a shudder in there for good measure!) And that I can easily tell you that while I don't know how many chances there would be (but I'm betting there would be plenty, because it seems unlikely to me that this person will EVER be in a position to turn down a chance to sleep with a sad sack who determined it to be a desirable, feasible option) that no matter how many chances presented themselves, I would easily and GLADLY turn them all down without batting an eye!

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In other news, doctors carried out the first-ever FACE TRANSPLANT. Yeah... somebody who had their face ripped off by dogs (because my theory about dog attacks gets more evidence by the day!) got herself a new face. Delightful.

Wanna read more about it? Go here!

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And that about does it for me! Take care loves, and be sure to check back for more updates Thursday!